If you're reading this, maybe you're not jumping up and down with joy with where you are at in your life right now. Maybe you have a nagging feeling that there is something better out there - maybe more potential for fulfillment and happiness for you. If you're thinking about working with a coach, you must be thinking about change, right? Perhaps. Think carefully. What you get out of coaching depends upon where you are in terms of willingness and readiness to change. Although you may think and feel like you might want to change, you may not be quite ready to do so.
Most resolutions fail because goals don't match your state of readiness. Unless you've done the groundwork and prepared for ACTION, your steadfast resolution to lose 10kg, or give up smoking, or find the man / woman of your dreams is likely to run into sticky ground well before January is up. That doesn't mean something is wrong with you. More likely, it means that you haven't geared up well to keep that promise to yourself.
You may have to think about the stages you need to get through before you can sustain any change you may want to make in your life:
- Denial. This is especially difficult to recognise in yourself. Again, if you're reading this - you're probably working through that. But although you might be willing to address change in one aspect of your life, you may be hardheadedly resisting change in other parts of your life. Coaching may help to reveal this and help you to address it.
- Contemplate. Before we make changes, we sometimes need to play around with the idea of change before we start taking action. Weigh up your options. Figure out what is important to you. Make your choices.
- Prepare. How can you go about making the changes in your life to get the results you want? What tools do you need? Who can support you? But remember, all planning and no action is kind of like being stuck again - so be wary of making an all-singing all-dancing project plan without actually ever implementing it.
- Action. You're all prepared and ready to roll! Take note of what happens along the way as you take action, and expect a few sidesteps along the way - that happens, and they are essential in order to move forward.
- Consolidate. Changes only become owned and embedded when you figure out how to maintain them in your life. From time to time, you might fall back into an earlier stage - like contemplation. That's part of consolidation too, and perfectly natural. Think of any such sidesteps as figuring out how to make these changes last in your life in the long-term. Its pretty unlikely that everything will go perfectly first time around.
Coaching a can be really fantastic resource in helping you to maintain and renew your promise to yourself to change. Let me know if I can help.