It is possible that you may feel like you’re doing neither. Perhaps you feel like you’re stuck. Whenever you encounter roadblocks and you’re unsure whether your planned action is good for you, you can ask yourself one simple question:
Is my response to this event, thought, feeling, worry or bodily sensation moving me closer or further away from where I want to go with my life?
You can ask yourself the same question is a few other ways:
What would I advise someone else or my child to do?
What does my experience tell me about my planned solution? And what do I trust more – my mind and feelings, or my experience?
Asking questions like these when faced with adversity and doubt is far more helpful than listening to what your anxious / angry mind comes up with, or what the surging impulses seem to be telling you. The answers will remind you that past solutions have not worked. You now have the opportunity to choose to do something different, perhaps even radically different.
Coaching conversations can help you to unhook from the tangle of thoughts and feelings you can find yourself caught up in.